Hand Bags and Glad Rags
by Paris Malfoy
Summary: The 9th Doctor takes Jack and Rose to the best party on earth. Find out what happens when the Doctor finally gets a chance to kick back and relax. DocJack angst implied slash. M for later chapters. My first ever fic so please be kind!
1. Sonic screwdrivers

The inside of the tardis was darker than usual. The Doctor had stopped power to some of the lights as he tried to fix the annoying glitch that was causing the three travelers to end up two hours away from their fixed time. So far their luck had been minimal. Actually, to be more accurate, the Doctors luck had been minimal. Rose and Captain Jack were not experts at tardis repair and the Doctor preferred to do the job himself. He was currently buried under one of the control panels of the entity, whistling happily to himself.

"Progress?" Jack called from where he was sitting. Jack, ever the adventurer, was getting rather bored with their lack of movement. The Doctor had insisted that they stay put until he had discovered and fixed the problem. That had been five days ago. The Doctor appeared from under the panel, sonic screwdriver in hand.

"Sorry?"

"I asked whether you had made any progress. You sounded quite happy."

"Oh none at all," The Doctor replied quite cheerfully. "But it's only a matter of time."

"That's what you said four days ago," Rose told him. She was sitting reading a magazine on the far side of tardis.

"Excuse me," the Doctor replied, "do either of you know how the ship works?"

As expected there was no reply.

"Well then genius flourishes best in quiet circumstances. If you want me to hurry up you had better leave my genius to work." He disappeared back under the panel.

Rose scowled at him from where she sat.

"I saw that," he called from where he was hidden.

"No you didn't," she replied. "Not even genius's can see through solid objects."

"Ah but who says I haven't invented something that can see through solid objects? Just think, I could have been looking at you naked all this time."

Jack laughed, "No you couldn't Doc, that's not your style."

"He's right you know," agreed Rose. "It's far more Jack's style."

"Hey!" Jack turned to Rose in mock indignation. "That was a low blow."

Before she could respond the Doctor stuck his head out again.

"Listen you two, I told you I needed quiet to work. I brought you here because I thought it would keep you entertained whilst I did these repairs. I didn't think either of you could resist the greatest entertainment city that human beings ever produced, especially at its zenith."

Rose shrugged. "Yeah, it's good. But five days of the same thing . . ."

"Five days of hangover-free drinking, consequence-free flirting and even the occasional bit of fun and you're already bored?" The Doctor shook his head. "Heaven help humanity! And you kept telling me you wanted a holiday."

Rose gave in and grinned at him. "I suppose when you put it like that."

"That's my girl," he nodded approvingly. "That's the Rose I know."

She nodded in return. "I guess I'll just go and get changed then."

The Doctor grinned as Rose disappeared to have her clothes altered by the tardis. He in turn vanished, screwdriver in hand. Jack continued to lean against the railings of the tardis, listening to the Doctor hum away happily again. Before long Rose re-appeared looking stunning in the most fashionable apparel of the 22nd century. Jack gave an approving whistle. The Doctor stuck his head back out for a look.

"What do you think?" she asked coyly.

"You look lovely," the Doctor said. "My little Rose all grown up."

"Very funny."

"You'll knock 'em dead kid," Jack said.

"Maybe one day I'll have that effect on you," she grinned. Jack just laughed.

"Now," the Doctor interrupted. "Be safe, watch your drink, don't get into any unmarked spaceships and don't bring anyone home to this tardis who isn't fabulous."

Rose looked at him, mock serious, "Yes Mum."

"No cheek from you young lady," he replied primly. "And be home, if not before dawn, then at least a little after it."

She laughed again, and nodded. Turning on her heel she called, "See you later, or maybe earlier," as the door opened for a brief moment and let all the noise of the party in. The Doctor shook his head and vanished back to his work.

Two moments later he reappeared and looked at Jack.

"You know, I swear I just asked you why you were bored and you said, 'Doc, I'm not bored. I'm gonna head out on the town with my glad rags on and charm the nice folk of this century'."

Jack looked at him, "Glad rags?"

The Doctor shrugged, "Old earth expression. Don't dodge the question."

Jack shrugged and looked away. "I don't know Doc. Just a bit tired of it."

"The man who managed to charm his executioners into his bed is tired of the most hedonistic pleasure I can offer?" The Doctor frowned and shook his head. "This can't be true."

"I guess I'm tired of the hedonistic pleasure this planet has to offer," Jack told him. "Every night, same old, same old."

"Too many women jumping on you?" the Doctor teased him.

Jack shrugged again, "Something like that."

The Doctor looked at him for a brief moment before declaring, "Back to work!"

Jack watched as the man slid neatly back under the set of wiring he was working on. The sonic screwdriver started to hiss and the Doctor talked to himself and the tardis. Jack wasn't bored, exactly, with where the Doctor had brought them. He was just finding it all, well, a little too easy. There was no fun in someone he didn't have to charm. Every encounter was getting more and more hollow and it was preferable to sit and watch the Doctor's legs than to go and find a man or woman to drink with, flirt with and inevitably shag. He wanted some tension, someone who was a challenge. Someone who had brains as well as beauty. All the old clichés were coming to life and Jack thought they were probably clichés because time and again people were drawn to them.

"Brilliant!" the Doctor's sudden shout broke into Jack's thoughts.

"What?" he called.

"I'm brilliant!" The Doctor appeared from underneath the panel and stood upright. As he did so the lights came back on to full and the tardis began to hum with a more soothing note.

"Is it fixed?" Jack asked hopefully.

"Of course it is, genius never fails," the Doctor replied. "All done and ready to go."

"Great," Jack was happy that they could move on. "I'll go and find Rose and -"

"Hey, wait a minute sunshine," the Doctor interrupted this eager flow of words. "You don't think it's only the two of you who get to indulge here? I think after all that work I deserve a little break too?"

Jack was surprised and said nothing.

"Well I think I do," the Doctor continued happily. "So go and get those aforementioned glad rags on Jack. It's time for a night on the town."


	2. Crush

Thank you so much for the review - it made my week! Hope you enjoy the next chapter.

In the 22nd century earth had altered itself so much that nearly all the old order had vanished. What was once Moscow was now nothing but ruins amid farmland; Cairo had become a fertile city once again to new irrigation techniques; Milan had conceded its status as fashion capital of the planet to New Delhi and the New York was now Old York. One thing hadn't changed however, and that was the party atmosphere of Rio de Janeiro. The city had changed, beyond all recognition, but the carnival had never left Rio and the way it was going it never would.

The Doctor and Jack walked down packed streets. On all sides there was music and entertainment for every budget and every taste. People the world over flocked to this city to indulge in every imaginable vice and were helped by the obliging new inventions that humanity had dreamt up. One was an altered alcohol that meant the drinkers never got too drunk, and were only ever happy when they did. There were no hang-overs from it and it actually benefited the liver. The other was the eradication of all STD's and invisible contraception for both parties that was one hundred per cent safe and didn't interfere with any of the pleasures of sex. With this, and the liberalizing of attitudes of the whole planet, Rio was the place to have a good time.

People of all ages and all shapes and sizes came to the city to party, chill and have some casual and consequence-free sex. It was a way for the stressed and over-worked members of the human race to unwind. Jack and the Doctor entered this metropolis and wandered through it, looking at everything on offer.

"You have anything in mind Doc?" Jack leant in and said into the Doctor's left ear. "Or should that be, anyone in mind?"

The Doctor shook his head and called back to Jack. "Actually, what I really want is chips."

"Chips? Like in gambling?" Jack asked. "The casinos are the other side of the city."

"No, like French Fries, to eat. Have you looked around long enough to find anywhere decent to eat or has it just been wham, bam, thank you Ma'am? Or maybe Sir in your case."

Jack laughed, "You think so little of me! Of course I know somewhere good to eat. You have to woo your conquests somewhere."

"Of course," the Doctor nodded seriously, "I forget about such things, being 900 hundred years old and everything."

"Yeah, I suppose a granddad like you doesn't get it often."

"I'll have you know that I can get anyone I want when I try."

"Yeah, anyone in the retirement home."

The Doctor laughed. As they had been talking they had walked along one of the longer streets and it had come out onto a huge square. The square was about the size of three football pitches and it was absolutely rammed full of people.

"There's a good restaurant just on the other side of this square," Jack spoke into the Doctors ear again. "I'll even pay for us both if you want."

The Doctor glanced back in the crush of people. "Isn't that lovely, that's the first time someone's offered to pay for me in three hundred years."

"What can I say," Jack smirked. "I'm just a gentleman."

Jack squeezed in front of the Doctor and looked out across the crowd. He couldn't see very far. In every direction there were people talking and flirting and making their way to a favourite bar or venue. He knew which way the restaurant was, having an infallible sense of direction but he was worried about losing the Doctor in the crowd.

"Lead the way," The Doctor said from behind him.

On impulse Jack grabbed the Doctor's hand tight and began to edge his way through the groups of people. The Doctor had a firm grip and Jack was glad, it would have been easy to be wrenched apart in the mass of bodies. Progress was slow across the quadrangle and every now and again a person would move past Jack, grin and him and hold themselves really close as the passed. On any other night Jack would have enjoyed the blatant flirt but tonight he just wanted to hold onto the Doctor until they reached the other side of the square.

After twenty minutes of this pushing and shoving the pair eventually fell out of the seething mass of bodies into a small side street. Jack glanced about for thirty seconds to get his bearings.

"You're not the only one who's brilliant Doc," he grinned. "We're in almost exactly the right place. The restaurant is just up here." He pointed with his left hand and at that moment realized that neither he nor the Doctor had let go of each other, despite there being no reason to continue to hold on. Jack dropped his hand suddenly; aware of the fact he was blushing. He turned to face the direction of the restaurant.

"It's just up here," he repeated, mainly for want of something to say to distract from the enjoyment he had felt gripping onto the Doctor.

"Once again, lead on," the Doctor told him. There was nothing in the Doctor's voice that betrayed he had noticed Jack's blush and Jack was glad. He did not blush. He made other people blush. Yes, he had always flirted with the Doctor but then he flirted with everyone. It was what he did, like a hobby. He had never considered the Doctor like that. Jack scowled to himself, it was a long time since he had thought this way. It was almost as if the Doctor had unsettled him and whatever else Jack was he was _never_ unsettled.

As if to make this point clear to his own brain, Jack strode forward to the door of the restaurant that was hidden just a little further up the road. He managed to dodge the few people in the way to swagger confidently up to entrance and smiled to himself. This was the real Captain Jack: confident, cool, calm and collected. The Doctor wandered up behind him, once again humming away happily.


	3. Illusions

**Thank you once again to all those people who reviewed - it's lovely! And thanks to my proof reader and fellow Doc lover! Ah CE how we miss you!**

* * *

The door to the restaurant sounded as they pushed their way through it and immediately a computerized voice bade them welcome. A hologram appeared in front of them and smiled when it saw Jack.

"Usual table sir?"Jack nodded in reply and the hologram glided ahead of them, leading them to a quiet, intimate table near the very back of the room.

"Computerized waiting staff? Very late 21st century," the Doctor commented. "Are you going for a cultured feel?"

"You know how it is," Jack replied, still hanging on to his bravado, "a little old-fashioned romance."

"You're going to have to aim for a lot more old-fashioned if you want to impress me," the Doctor smirked back."Age is not an advantage when it comes to the dating game," Jack shot back. "I thought you would have got that by now." There was a short pause as the pair took their seats opposite each other. Jack continued, "What with Rose and everything."

The Doctor raised his eyebrows. "And what does that mean?"

"Come on Doc, you know exactly what it means. Or has your genius failed you on this point?"

The Doctor was just about to open his mouth to snap a reply when the hologram pressed its fingers together and a tall pair of tapered candles lit in front of them.

"Anyway," continued Jack, relishing the opportunity to score another point in the comfortable bickering. "Candles were being used on earth in the Dark Ages. That is older than even you. Old-fashioned enough for you?"

"Ha!" the Doctor barked a laugh at him.

"And I'll have the '84 this evening," Jack informed the hologram.

"Excellent choice Sir," it bowed slightly and slid silently away to get the wine.

"The '84?" the Doctor asked. "It's a good thing we have unlimited funds."

"Well, I can't appear to be cheap in front of my date," Jack smiled back. Unaccountably, however, he felt himself blushing again. Patter like this was what Jack lived on and yet suddenly he had become nervous about the delivery of it. What was he so worried about? It was only the Doctor. To shift the attention away from his reddening complexion Jack said, "I'm still waiting for you to explain about Rose, Doc."

"There's nothing to explain," the Doctor replied briskly. "And even if there were, I wouldn't explain it to you."

"Yeah, okay, whatever you say Doc." Jack teased the Doctor, hoping for a blush from his companion.

The hologram reappeared at this moment with the wine and poured them both a large glass. It also held out two menu pads for them to select from. The Doctor eyed the wine.

"And I warned Rose against getting drunk."

Jack ignored the comment and took a sip of his drink. Come to think of it, he had never seen the Doctor drunk. He had never even seen him drink. Jack wondered what the Doctor would be like drunk. Of course, tipsy people were the easier conquests. It would make-. Jack stopped the thought but he was too late to halt the images arising in his mind.

"Is it hot in here tonight?" the Doctor suddenly asked.

Jack looked around in confusion at the random question. "Not that I can tell, why?"

"You just seem to keep going a little red, that's all."

The Doctor's tone was completely innocent but Jack knew he must have noticed.

"You think I keep going red? I don't feel hot."

"Then I must be wrong. Must be the lighting. Or the drink. Or something."

Jack nodded, glad the Doctor was willing to drop it.

"Funny thing is, the lighting on the street was nice and bright. And you hadn't had anything to drink out there. And you were red then." The Doctor continued in that dreadful tone he usually used to take apart villains that had annoyed him with some scam.

"I don't know what to say," Jack tried a confident smile. "I really hadn't noticed it myself." 'Although you must have been watching me pretty closely to notice in the street,' Jack noted inwardly.

"Oh okay." The Doctor gave one of his oh-so-innocent smiles and looked down at the menu pad. It only took him a few seconds to make his choice and tapped the selection. Jack was a little longer in his decision. Once again he was trying to regain his composure. It had all started so well, teasing the Doctor about Rose, buying the meal, and then suddenly the Doctor had the upper hand. For all his expertise in the games of lust it had occurred to him that 900 years was a long time to get very good at such things. And the Doctor was not at all a bad looking man. Jack physically shook himself. It was such images as the Doctor's naked torso that he was concentrating so hard on forgetting. 'Food, order the food,' Jack instructed himself. At least when he was eating he would have something else to concentrate on.


	4. Lost

Fortunately for Jack the next hour of the meal managed to pass without further incident. He felt himself relaxing as he drank the excellent wine and with that relaxation he easily fell back into being his most charming self. He and the Doctor had chatted away about hundreds of different things. It had been nice. Jack had realized that without Rose around the two of them could relax around each other, no longer competing for her attention. Rose was still a topic that he was curious about and the effects of the alcohol made him keener than ever to find out just exactly what the Doctor thought of her.

"You know Doc, you never did explain what was up with you and Rose."

The Doctor looked at him across the table.

"There is nothing 'up' with Rose and me," he said. "She is my assistant. It has become, well, tradition that the Doctor has an assistant."

"And all the better if the assistant is young, attractive and blonde?"

"It's not like that at all." The Doctor looked down into his plate.

"Oh come on Doc," Jack was really beginning to push now, "every time anyone gets anywhere near 'your' Rose you get all protective."

"I do not!" The Doctor protested indignantly.

Jack laughed. He was suddenly very confident again. "The gentleman doth protest too much."

"No, you're just wrong, that's all."

"Doc, you're rude to anyone who comes near her. Mickey doesn't stand a chance with you and all because he and Rose used to get cozy together. Anywhere we've gone you've done your best to put other men off. And it has been easy to do, I mean, who would compete with a snarling Time Lord?"

"I do not snarl!" The Doctor had raised his voice and people on the tables nearby began to look round.

"You're doing it now!" Jack told him. He hadn't realized that he was going to get quite such a reaction from teasing about Rose. "There's no need to be so upset."

"I'm not upset," The Doctor was still very loud and he nodded his head from side to side to emphasize the word 'upset'. More people were staring at the two of them.

Suddenly the hologram appeared beside them.

"Gentlemen, you are disturbing the other customers," it informed them in a serene voice. "If you cannot calm down I shall ask you to leave."

"Don't worry," the Doctor replied, never taking his eyes off Jack, "I'm going." As he got up Jack stared back into his gaze and it was like locking onto a laser. There was anger and fire and passion in that gaze. Jack almost dropped his eyes but something compelled him to continue looking into a soul that had seen everything; a soul that had saved the world and the universe and sacrificed everything else in the process.

"So much for a romantic dinner," the Doctor scoffed at Jack. Breaking the glance between them he turned to the hologram and said, "He's paying."

The hologram produced a bill from somewhere as Jack watched the purposeful strides of the Doctor disappear out the door.

"Your bill sir," the hologram said.

"God damn it," said Jack.


	5. Found

Jack pushed his way back into the street. As dinner had passed and the night wore on the number of people in Rio had increased further and even the once-quiet street was humming with conversation and laughter. Ten minutes had passed since the Doctor had walked out before him. Those ten minutes had been strangely charged for Jack; he had settled the bill as fast as possible, just wanting to throw money at the waiter and run after the dark leather jacket that he had so unaccountably upset. However, he carefully paid and tipped, all the while listening to the whispers around him from the other customers.

The whispering would not have normally bothered him but this time it was different. It was conformation that they had been arguing, and a spur to follow the Doctor and sort things out. He didn't want the Doctor to be upset with him. So it was ten minutes to tip, to pay, to gather his coat, to fall over a chair in his hurry to get out and look in vain for the Doctor's frame amongst the crowd. Jack was berating himself for the time delay but he knew that even if it had only been ten seconds there would still be little chance of finding the Doctor in this.

Around him bodies were moving and dancing already to the drum of distant music. Drinks were being pressed into his hands as people spoke to him; such was the ease of conversation here. He ignored everything and did not even notice the liquid spill onto his shoes. As he pushed his way forward, not caring about the direction, more people pressed against him. The alcohol in his system was making his head spin a little and the men and women who pressed themselves just that little bit too close to him all began to resemble the Doctor or Rose.

"Where are you?" Jack spat the sentence with all the frustration of a curse. He did not know where he was going or what to do. All he wanted was to find the Doctor and the sudden despair he felt at realizing this was impossible stopped him flat. He waited a moment, trying to think; trying to understand what was happening. Lights flashed above him, the heat from them and the bodies around him was buffeting the crowd like waves in the sea. The noise, the chatter, the shrill laughter was enough to drive him mad.

"Where are you?" Jack yelled it this time at the top of his voice. He screamed it so loud a number of people turned to look in surprise.

"I'd have thought one scene in an evening was enough for even you," the voice was sudden and quiet, directly into his ear.

Jack whipped his head around to find the Doctor only centimeters away from his face. Jack laughed, one of relief and pleasure and embarrassment.

"Do you want to go back?" the Doctor asked. Jack nodded. His head was spinning again. The wine had been potent and the noise and the light made it feel as though he were living in a hallucination. He was quite happy to let the Doctor lead him through the crowds – he would not have had any way of telling where they were until he sobered up anyway – and back to the Tardis.


	6. Raging heat

The Doctor locked the Tardis door and the noise faded to nothing. Jack watched him, his every precise movement as he gently stroked the control panels on the ship. Jack knew the Tardis was somehow alive but he had never seen the Doctor touch it like this. It was as if he were caressing it, soothing it.

"Rose isn't back yet?" Jack asked the question. He was leaning against the railings. He wanted the Doctor to talk to him. He wanted things to be easy and simple.

"No," the Doctor gave a short answer. "She's still out partying with the other dumb apes." He continued to look at the control panel.

Jack gave a half-laugh. "Dumb apes? Is that what we are?"

"Sometimes," the Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver and looked at it carefully. "Dumb drunken apes."

"I'm so sorry that we like to drink," Jack replied. He knew that the alcohol was slowing him down and it was making him angry. Also making his angry was the Doctor's dismissive attitude towards him. Sometimes he was so condescending.

"It must be so hard being a genius amidst all our stupidity," Jack continued. His ire was growing and suddenly he no longer wanted to apologize for the argument earlier.

"Sometimes," the Doctor replied in the same neutral tones. The sonic screwdriver continued to interest him greatly.

"Oh come on Doc," Jack snapped at him. "You're not so different. I mean, you like the same things as the rest of us. Look at you and Rose."

"Enough about Rose!" the Doctor turned on him, the anger there in a blink of an eye. "I care about her, I love her dearly but that is all there is to it. Do you think I want to see her attached permanently to someone who is not worth her?"

"In your opinion you're the only one worth her!" Jack answered back, anger turning to rage.

"No I'm not," the Doctor yelled. "You miss the point, as usual, fly boy."

"Fly boy!"

"Rose may have casual associations with whomever she wishes but she is not to live with someone who cannot make her happy." The Doctor delivered this with a steely determination.

"And I suppose me just being a fly boy will never make her happy?" Jack shot back. He was almost shaking with rage at being told he didn't meet the Doctor's standards.

"You stupid ape," the Doctor shifted round the rail so that he was nearer Jack. "When did I ever say that?"

Jack, who was quickly sobering up, stood straight to face the Doctor. "If you don't think that then why do you always keep us apart? Whenever I go near Rose you are always there, needling me, pushing me away, telling Rose how you and her are the dream team."

The pair of them was standing eye to eye. Jack was red from shouting and from anger and was trembling with what he could only identify as desire. As much as he hated the Doctor that minute he wanted him still. Being told he wasn't good enough only increased the longing he had to grab the Doctor and show him just how good Captain Jack could be.

"And you shout at me for calling you a stupid ape!" the Doctor carried on, his voice getting slightly higher with his anger.

"What are you talking about?" Jack screamed again, rage and desire and incomprehension driving him insane.

And then the Doctor reached across the final gap that separated them and clamped Jack's head in his hands and gave him a deep, passionate kiss that surprised Jack so much he almost forgot to respond. Then Jack started kissing the Doctor back and all the heat of the night and the energy of the crowds was suffused into the two of them.

Eventually the Doctor pulled away, "Do you understand now fly boy? I wasn't keeping you away from Rose."

Jack looked at him and smiled in amazement and nodded. "Yes."

The Doctor smiled back, a grin of absolute happiness. "And as for being like you stupid apes, well," he took Jack's hand and, without saying anything further, led him away, to his bedroom.

That night the Doctor showed just how human he could be and Jack learnt exactly what nine hundred years of experience could teach you. After hours of connection in the dark they eventually fell asleep, entangled in one another, tired, satisfied and happy.

A couple of hours later a sobered up Rose let herself into the Tardis. She looked a little more disheveled than when she had left and was expecting the Doctor to be waiting for her. She was surprised when he wasn't there with a mock-serious lecture.

"Hey, I'm back," she called.

There was no answer and she was puzzled. Perhaps they had gone out as well? After all, the Tardis was now humming away to itself. In fact, Rose thought it sounded more harmonious than she had ever heard.

Walking through the ship she put her head round the door of the Doctor's room to see if, by some strange occurrence he was still sleeping. She gasped when she saw the two bodies entwined; Jack's slightly tanned limbs set off the paleness of the Doctor well. Rose grinned to herself. It was about time the Doctor had some fun. Shutting the door quietly she undressed and got into bed, letting the happy purr of the Tardis lull her to sleep.

The End


End file.
